Order

Over these last few days I've been "googling" and "facebooking" in search of answers to the littlest of my questions. Thank goodness that I found a couple different facebook pages that have questions, answers, information, events, and news about the Ft. Hood area. When I first started searching, it would fill me with even more anxiety as I looked at the housing or the wait list for housing. I would get panicky as I would see how huge the base and surrounding area is. Then I realized that as I was searching for housing, schooling, job security, and anything that I could soak in, it was all in the wrong order. I put down the Ipad and picked up my Bible. I began to pray for peace, guidance, strength all of the things that I am lacking at the moment. All of the things that everyone is telling me that I should have.

When I got to the computer again the first thing that came to my fingers was "First United Methodist Ft Hood", and in that single search, I felt peace for the first time since receiving the news of the move. I clicked and clicked my way through "First United Methodist of Killeen, TX" website, looking at their pictures, reading about the activities of the church, searching for faces to relate to and feeling the first bit of excitement for this move. This church was huge in building size, but not super huge their numbers average about 500 per Sunday. They have a great Vacation Bible School and many small study groups and their Sunday School starts with 2 years old, perfect for Little D. I was super excited about all aspects of this new church though the overwhelming emotion of not being with my current church followed. There was a link to be able to "like" them on Facebook and as I clicked "like", I felt a lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes. Finding fumckilleen.com was exactly what I needed to start this new journey and realize how much I rely on my own Church Family.

The peace that filled me that afternoon really got me thinking and definitely got me praying. Trusting in God as we walk down this next path in life is certainly something I needed to learn. There are still so many what ifs and uncertainty about how things are going to work out. My plan to tackle the uncertainty is to obey, pray, seek and to trust. Through all of this inevitable change I know for certain that the following will stay true.
1. God is on our side and will love, guide, hold, comfort, teach, and provide for us.(you're right Miss Diane, it feels GREAT to have Him on my side through all of this)
2. That this precious time here at "home" was the best gift ever given to our family. (memories and shaping of my children in ways that would have never happened if not being "home")
3. We will always be a part of the First United Methodist of Titusville Family. (Grateful for each kind face, loving ear, sweet words from my Brothers and Sisters in Christ)
Knowing in my heart these things is something that is getting me through these crazy emotions of being excited, sad, angry, nervous, scared, happy, thankful, blessed and well whatever comes over me at any given time.

Our family's journey is sooo not unique there are many families just like ours preparing to move and start their our own Unknowns. As I pray for them it helps prepare me for my own emotions and as I checked up on one of our dear Army friends, who have been in almost the same exact situation as us, there was a line she posted today. "We are so trained to not get attached, but we surely have gotten attached this time." This so rang true for me this time around, and instantly put tears in my eyes. When first moving here I was nervous to make close friendship for I knew as a military family that moving was inevitable. Though the family bonds that grew were also inevitable, the love and closeness flourished the more time we were here and as this happened friendships began to grow as well. I've been able to keep some friends at arms length for fear of hurting them with our absence though more than any time in my life I've reached out to many wonderful people. Not all of the reaching out worked and I realized how cruel and "small town" people can be but on the positive side I realized how not taking the chance for a relationship to grow is something I didn't want to miss out on.

Getting things in "order" has definitely shown me that if God isn't first then the pathway is going to be rocky. Travis will leave in May, we will follow after housing is set up and sell this home. If it is in God's plan for Travis to become a Warrant Officer then it will happen and we may stay longer though if it isn't then it will be okay too. That there are going to be days when I'm happy, sad, anxious and that is okay. I've got a great support system to lean on as we climb these hills. Even though things may not be perfectly clear as to what is going to happen the pathway is moving forward and not looking back.So just as long as we Obey, Pray, Seek and Trust our way along this rocky, hilly, often dirt ridden pathway, everything will work out. So even though I can not visualize where I will be in 6-12 months I can see all of the love around me and really that is all that matters.